That's it!

That's it, we're moving.  I'm tired of not being able to post videos.  So, we're moving to blogger.

From now on, visit us at www.bevany.blogspot.com

This blog will remain unchanged so you can still come and view your favorite pictures and videos of the world's greatest girl.

Bright

Clara certainly does live up to her name--she does a wonderful job of brightening each and every day.  Today, I woke up with a breast infection (bleh).  (But the good news is, I had an excuse to sleep.  So I went back to bed and slept until Clara woke up a little before 8 am, and then Evan and Clara went out to breakfast while I slept some more, and then during Clara's nap I slept even more! And I'm going to bed in a few minutes.  I think I got the infection mostly from being too run down, so I hope the extra sleep will help me fight it off.)  Anyway, Clara had a great day!  She got to spend hours with me, mostly lying around in the big bed and reading books, playing games, or just cuddling.  It was so refreshing for both of us.  Here are a few pictures.

Her two favorite books today were Amelia Bedelia and the Baby and Emma.  Ah, a girl after my own heart.  Obviously, she didn't actually read Emma, but she loved playing with the book for some reason--probably because it's a "mommy book" and she loves to imitate.  You can click here for a video of Clara "reading" the book. 

Thanks, Bethany

I had no idea that Bethany wrote a blog entry yesterday, but I woke up rather early this morning unable to sleep. Part of my insomnia is due to something I ate yesterday--gurgly tummy syndrome, but I cannot help but attribute some of it to the extra helping of stress we have right now. Reading Bethany's blog entry at 3:15 AM helped me put it all in perspective (thank you, Love).

It's no secret that stress is quickly multiplied by fear. I think about our uncertain futures and wonder if we will fail to thrive, and the more I worry, the more I lose a sense of joy. Worry and fear becomes my taskmasters, crowding out anything in my imagination that gives me hope, but perhaps worse, they make me horribly self-centered. My preoccupation with self-preservation does not lead me to think of others and act on their behalf, and not loving others is a foretaste of hell.

Remember that dismal '80s song by Bobby McFerrin, "Don't Worry, Be Happy?" The prescription for happiness, according to McFerrin, is just to stop worrying. But how do we stop worrying? Let's make a checklist:

1. Escape--I engage in whatever activity, typically destructive, that has a greater hold on me than my fears;

2. Escape, part 2--I pretend that the fear does not exist. Fears aren't real anyway, right? Please tell me they are not real;

3. Sentimentalism--I think, "God's in control so I don't have to worry about anything".  I tend to be unbearable to those who are suffering and faced with the problem of evil. Sentimentalism often masquerades as trust in God but is a lack of faith;

4. Master of my own destiny--I think that I can actually rise above fears because I can control them. I mistake myself for God, believing that I can bring perfect order to my life;

5. Resignation--Technically, this comes in two forms. The "wheel of fortune" types believe that life deals out the good and the bad, and worrying about it changes nothing. The cynics think that life is nothing but one disappointment after another. Resignation is joyless business;

6. Change the world--These people realize the folly of 3 and 4 above, so they take it upon themselves to change the world even if they are not God. The world may not deliver what they really want, but they'll die trying to get it. Still, they cannot quiet the nagging doubt, "is this world as good as it gets?" They often become 4s or 5s;

7. Realists--My desires are good but without attention can quickly go bad. I'll admit that my fears are in a way real since I have seen the effects of evil. Nevertheless, the world is good and beautiful, and I will not forget that all I have is given to me. Love is greater than fear but requires chastening.

Fear is like doubt. Many think that doubting is itself bad, but doubt often saves me from a lot of trouble. Then again, doubt can lead to unbelief and despair. Fear can lead to despair. But paradoxically, fear and doubt can lead to faith.

What's the worst that could happen?

Yesterday Evan and I got some rather bad news.  I shouldn't go into all the details, but suffice it to say that neither of us may have a job next year.  Now, hopefully it doesn't come to that, but please pray that God would provide for us.

Anyway, as I was trying to fall asleep last night, I was so worried about next year that I could barely lie still.  I flipped and flopped all over the bed as I imagined being jobless and running out of money and watching our careers go up in smoke.  I was trying really hard not to worry, but it was a losing battle.  So, I decided to let myself imagine "the worst that could happen."  I imagined that neither of us received a contract for renewal. And I imagined that we couldn't get a different job.  I thought about what would probably happen as a result of those two things--and I realized that it wouldn't even be that bad. 

When I imagined the worst that could come of this threat, I realized that the things that make me happy on a day-to-day basis have little to do with my job or financial well-being.  In fact, "the worst that could happen" has absolutely nothing to do with losing a job or being poor!

I don't have any happy little way to end this post, but believe me, I am content.  And that's enough.

Little teacher

On Monday, Clara came to work with me.  She came with me to two classes and we spent my two office hours having a picnic, making new friends, swinging, and talking to my officemates.  It was a blast.  I wish I could take her to work everyday--except I wouldn't get as much done.  Honestly, though, it was wonderful to have her in the classroom.  Yeah, she was a little distracting, but my students love her.  And she loves them; she seemed to consider them her audience and had no problems keeping them entertained.  No one fell asleep while Clara was there!

Children are so often left in their own world in our culture.  They go to schools with masses of other children.  They have their own television programs, their own church-time, their own books, their own age-appropriate toys, and so on.  And there's nothing wrong with most of these things, with exception of the masses of children crowded into schools.  But I think it's also good to allow children into the adult world--doing so benefits both the child and the adult.  

I wish I could write more on this topic . . . too tired . . . must go to bed . . . perhaps more later. . . feel free to contribute your ideas too!